Think on These Things...

I'm not an expert, but I have experienced some things in life.   If experience is to be valued it must be shared. 

As a person that has struggled with depression and anxiety I have had to learn how to get better.  Psychology, although helpful in a crisis, was not my answer.   Medications have not been my answer either. 

The only answer that has worked is to build my relationship with God.  I'm not selling anything here or saying you must believe in God.  I can only share what has saved me.

There are a lot of things out there.  Merely thinking positively is also not the answer.  Because you are still  relying on yourself.  I went through that too with all the motivational stuff too.  It worked for awhile, but then I was struggling again.

We must develop strength, perseverance, steadfastness, and faith in our lives, minds and hearts.  We will go through difficult times, but we will also make it through those times as well. 

I think that our society doesn't help us.  Sometimes it can be difficult for us to find our way.  But we must survive.  There is also thriving and although I am not entirely there I am on my way. 

This time last year I was in the hospital twice for trying to harm myself.  I was so tired of all the struggle.  I was homeless, with no job, to sick to work, without my family for the first time in my life and in all my searching for someone to help me I only found people who were too quick to judge me and put me down.  Talk about kicking a person when they are down.  Now, I realize that the struggle is part of building endurance.  It helps to form and shape our character when the focus is on the one that brings us peace and gives us mercy.

This verse is truly something to ponder.  If we spend our time thinking about the negative, about how others have hurt us and all the things that are going wrong, it WILL effect our emotions negatively. 

However, you can't think of something negative and positive at the same time.  So, fill your mind with positive things.  It is an exercise in discipline and choice. 

I don't have all the answers, but I have found one answer that helps keep me focused on the right things and that is this verse and the one who wrote it.  

God is Smiling on US!

I have been reading this great book called "Qualities of  a Spiritual Warrior" by Graham Cooke (www.brilliantbookhouse.com if you would like to get it).  He explains this verse as God's smiling on us.  I like that.  I like that God smiles upon me.  I love Him!
This book has been helpful and inspirational to me.  I'm not really going through that tough of a time.  But, it's been easier.  I am really dealing with health issues right now.  I have to get my health in check or I can't really do much else.  It is frustrating to me at times.  Also, I have my kids back in my life quite a bit these days which is a HUGE blessing and I am learning to really balance my finances.

My health has kept me from going to church regularly lately and that is the most frustrating thing I am dealing with right now.
It's funny how people say, "I don't have to go to a building to worship God."  No you don't, but when you have a church family you miss those people.  I am blessed to be a part of a wonderful ministry (Renaissance International) that does care about you as an individual.  So, yeah I miss my church family.  I also have relationships with a few people and I get to talk with them and hang out outside of church.  But, getting together corporately means a lot to me.  I am working through my health issues and working towards total wellness.
What does that mean?  CHANGE.  Change is a part of life. The better we are at adapting to change the smoother the transitions will be.  The biggest change and the one I don't really know how I am going to do yet is a total diet change.  Now I know from experience that eating healthy and avoiding certain food items help me tremendously.  Last year I was doing pretty good.  However, I have gotten out of the habit.  And it is really expensive.  That is probably the hardest part.  I would love to do a raw food diet with juicing.  But, it is really expensive and it requires frequent trips to the store or farmer's market.  I don't even go to the farmer's market right now and I would love to go.  Not having a car is now becoming more of a struggle.  Because my heath sucks, getting on the bus to do this 3 or 4 hour adventure is so DRAINING! I just didn't know if I wanted the expense at the time when I had some extra money to buy a car.  Now, it seems that it is paramount.  Which means that I really need to work again.  But, I can't work if I don't feel well that majority of the time and the cycle goes on and on.  I have to break free from this cycle and that's what my prayers are focused on now.
For a couple of weeks I was feeling really great.  I had started taking vitamins and they really helped.  Then my sleep schedule got off kilter and then I couldn't sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning and was getting up at like 1 or 2 in the afternoon.  It makes me feel worse to do that.  Then I realized that the vitamins were keeping me up late... imagine that!  So, I have to be careful and take them early in the day so they don't keep me up late at night.  Silly story but true.  Please keep me in your prayers that I will get this all under control.  It feels and is out of control right now.  Sometimes I feel so bad that this is such a struggle.  It seems silly and like it shouldn't be a problem. But, it is my ONE BIG PROBLEM right now.
Although, I can't go back to work doing what I used to do, I would love to go to school and become a message therapist/holistic practitioner and help others to get healthy as well.  So, this is my goal and I am working toward it one baby step at a time.  

Sunday, August 28, 2011

My Praise

Glory Be to God on this day!!!!!!
For He has delivered me from my enemies
He has set my feet upon the rock
He has given me beauty for ashes
The oil of joy for my mourning

He has lifted me from the miry clay
He has strengthened me that I may soar
On Eagles wings
and dwell in the shadow WITH the Most High

He has renewed His Spirit within me
That I may be connected to Him once again
In Close fellowship

He has delivered me from depression and sorrow
He has renewed my mind and my vision

Oh Glory Be To God!
The Most High
He has delivered my enemies under His feet
He has washed me with the Water of His Word
and clothed me with a garment of Praise
He has broken through the cloud of Darkness above me
He has opened His Heavens Wide over me
He has shinned His Light upon me
That I may be made new
That I may shine in the darkness
That I may be a light unto The Nations

His Spirit within me has made himself known to me
Once again
I have been healed, delivered and set free
My time of current difficulties have come to an end
Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within in me
Bless His Holy Name !!!

He leadeth me by still waters
He restoreth my soul
He makes me to lie down in Green Pastures
His Rod and His Staff comfort me

For I have been buffeted and reproved By The Lord
As I lost my way
I despise not the chastening of the Lord
For He loves me as His dear daughter
For in this time I have be given wisdom
And sight for my destiny
My mind has been renewed and The world
Wrung out of me
_____________________________________________________________________

His Word to The Body

Be not conformed to this world
But be transformed by the renewing of your mind
Set your eyes upon the Lord
For He will show you great and mighty things
Which no man has seen nor heard
Dwell IN the presence of the Most High
Sup with Him in the early morn
Harken your ear to listen
To the Word of the Lord this day
Give place to His words and follow them with all your heart
Walk with The Lord in the Cool of the Day
Sleep in His Loving Arms
Wake to His Sweet Reward
His presence Be with You Always

Love the Lord your God With your whole heart mind and body
Love your neighbor as yourself
For you cannot love your neighbor until you love God and then yourself

Be Cleansed continuously by the water of the washing of the WORD
For it is life, and breath
It is the Fullness of Christ
Abide in His Word and dwell with Him in the Most High

Give Glory to Him always
For His love runs so very deep
Let His Light Shine Upon You
Don't turn away
For many are the ways of man
That all lead to destruction
Many are the thoughts of man
That are not in line with Him

Better Yet are His WORDS
His WAYS
And His Love

Turn only to God
Hear only the Lord
Speak only His words
Live only His life
Be only as He has called you to be